Little Drowned Darling Boat

Darling was eight years old when her father built her a boat. He built it from the teak wood of a very old sailboat that came from Japan.

When it was finished, Darling was eager to take it out with the plastic oars from her old inflatable raft, but her father would not allow it. A proper boat requires proper oars, he told her, and so she had to wait another three weeks and four days before he could carve two teak oars for her little boat.

The morning her father completed the oars, he woke Darling while the sky was still pink and took her to the window to see her little boat anchored on the shore in front of their house. In a moment she was seated in the boat, pushing away from shore with one of the oars. And as the sun crackled across the horizon, Darling set out to sea.

Lying in the boat, Darling had to keep her eyes closed because the sun made her cry. She saw gold and red on the backs of her eyelids and melted into the rocking boat. Only when she heard a loud splash and felt a shower of salt water did she sit up. She saw nothing unexpected. Around her the water glittered, and to her right, stretched the shore and the houses, small and white like teeth in the distance. When she heard another splash, she turned and saw something swimming a few yards away. Hey! She called, you’ve gotten me wet! The creature disappeared into the water and within seconds reappeared next to her boat. I’m sorry, he told her. But does it really bother you? It did not, but Darling said nothing. Instead, she lay back down in her boat and closed her eyes.

Every day Leucas asked Darling to join him but she had never learned how to swim. I’ll teach you, he begged. She refused, until one day, she awoke and was no longer afraid and knew that today she would swim. She sat in her boat, anchored far enough away from the shore to appear as no more than a speck on the water. When he finally came, Leucas tapped the bottom of her boat before pulling himself up to the side. His skin glistened like plastic. He smiled widely and blew a thin stream of water between his sharp teeth. The water grazed Darling’s neck, trickled over the curve of her collarbone. Teach me to swim, she told him. His eyes sparkled and for a moment he said nothing. You’re ready? He asked. Yes, I can’t be scared forever. And so he smiled and told her to get in. She pulled her dress over her head and folded it carefully, laying it in the boat. Then she shimmied her underwear down her thighs, let them fall into sand below her feet. Leucas looked up at her, offered his hand. She took it, swung one leg over the side of the boat, then the other, so that she was seated on the edge, the boat offering her feet and calves to the water. Ready? Leucas asked, and when she nodded, he held her around her waist and lowered her into the water. At first the water made her go stiff and her skin prickled with goose-bumps. She gasped and Leucas held on to her. He was hot the way the boat felt after it sat in the sun and so Darling held him, her body softened as it adjusted to the water. He taught her to float, to let the sea carry her. Soon, she was no longer afraid but loved to swim. And one day, she swam out to the ocean, her clothes in a pile on the shore and when she met Leucas they wrapped themselves around each other and rocked through waves until both panted and ached. Leucas always tasted like salt and sweat so that Darling usually forgot that he was not like her.

Leucas had many secrets. At first, they played a game and Darling would request one secret and Leucas would whisper in her ear. Sometimes the secrets were strange, sometimes they were frightening, and sometimes they made Darling giggle: your mouth is like a clam with 24 pearls, but they were always exciting. But after some time, the secrets began to make Darling feel uneasy. She stopped requesting them and when one was revealed, she begged Leucas to tell her that it was the last.

For many years they met between the shore and the horizon. One day, Darling found him with his eyes wide, talking very soft and quick. Darling tried to calm him and when he finally was calm, he began to sob and his tears filled the ocean deeper. On that day, Darling lay on a large, flat rock while Leucas swam next to her. They sat in the sun for a very long time without speaking. The next day, she returned to the rock and found him with his face and neck covered in blood. She was unsure of what thought troubled her more: that the blood was his own, or that it was someone else’s. She held his face in her hands and licked the salt from his eyes, but he would not look at her; the blood was not his own.

After that day, Leucas and Darling were very quiet when they met. And then one day, Leucas stopped coming. Darling swam out towards the horizon near the rocks where he usually waited for her but he did not come. At first she would lie on the rocks with her eyes closed so that if he came, he would not know she was eager. Then she would be dry from the sun and, angry, swim home. Quickly her anger turned to worry. Not knowing how to find him, Darling stopped looking. She stayed on land for several days and her father told her this was better; that the ocean was dangerous and he did not like her swimming alone, without a boat. Then Darling read something in the newspaper, and she knew where to find Leucas.

At the aquarium, Leucas peered out at Darling, glowing soft blue. He looked warm. For a moment, Darling wished to climb inside. Leucas whispered through the glass, Let’s leave together and go back to our ocean. He pressed his mouth to the glass. Together, we see the curve of the earth, Leucas smiled at her, his teeth gleaming. Darling turned and walked down the corridor, the glowing blue trailed behind her.

This story is part of a collection of short fiction entitled,

Things That Lose You. I wrote, designed, illustrated and

bound this collection into a book for my thesis.